To Christmas with Love Read online

  To Christmas With Love (A Message From Paul)

  by Jennifer Robins

  Published by Astraea Press

  www.astraeapress.com

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and events are fictitious in every regard. Any similarities to actual events and persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used. Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.

  TO CHRISTMAS WITH LOVE (A MESSAGE FROM PAUL)

  Copyright © 2011 JENNIFER ROBINS

  ISBN 978-1-936852-78-9

  Cover Art Designed by Paragraphic Designs

  Edited by Nia Plummer

  To those who have lost a loved one. Holidays are full of memories and there’s a need for something to guide you to go on. Love never dies for the one who has gone on. But life is full of surprises and new loves can come to those who grieve.

  Chapter One

  Cold, refreshing snow fluttered down to rest on Nadine’s face as she made her way to the car. Working long hours in an office had its disappointments, but it was better than killing herself at the late-night lounge. She’d opted out of working as a cocktail waitress. Her thirty-year-old bones didn’t like running around all night waiting on bunch of drunks, just to pull in a few bucks to keep her bills paid and food on the table. The late hours with sore feet had taken its toll on her both mentally and physically. A nice secretarial job with a local law firm had seemed like a better way to earn a living, but sometimes they expected more from her than she’d planned on. Late hours, weekends, and duties such as delivery of papers and cleaning the bathrooms were part of her job description.

  Headlights from oncoming cars made it difficult to see through her tears, lowering her mood even further on this cold Thursday night in early December. It was already nine. She hadn’t had dinner yet, and she thought of the soft lights of the lounge, the loud music, the smell of beer and whiskey. Oh, how good a nice nightcap sounded. She neared the Northland Lounge on her way to her apartment. Instead of going on by, she pulled into the parking lot, got out of her car, and made her way to the door.

  High heels weren’t meant to be worn in the snow, but how could she have known it would snow when the morning had been so clear and warm? After a quick shake of the white stuff from her handsome shoes, she set her hand on the door handle. She could hear the band playing inside. The music coaxed her in with a robust strut, glad to feel the warmth as she let the door close behind her.

  The place was jumping for a Thursday night, but she found a spot at the curved bar over by the wall. The bartender came over as she settled on the stool and set her purse next to her. “And what can I get for a lovely lady like you?” he asked.

  “I’ll have a whiskey sour with a slice of lime, please.” She straightened to her full five feet as she looked around. As the bartender fixed her drink, she searched for her wallet in her purse, ready to pay him.

  “I’ll get that, little lady,” said a sexy male voice to her right.

  She turned to face a nice-looking man with a dazzling smile. “No thank you, I buy my own drinks.”

  He moved closer to her, his eyes roaming over her slim figure as though taking inventory. “Come on now, I would feel bad if you didn’t let me buy such a beautiful lady a drink.” His eyes now fixed on hers. “I would really like it if you’d accept…no strings attached.”

  His strong hand tapped her on the wrist. His light brown hair lay smoothed back to expose sexy hazel eyes. When he smiled, a dimple showed in his cheek just above a thin, trimmed beard. He wore a close-fitting grey sweatshirt that showed off a muscular torso. She could hardly refuse, but one drink would be it, she promised herself. “Okay, but only this one. I have to get home. I only thought I’d stop for a nightcap and a little music. Thanks.”

  Pleasure lit his gentle, friendly face. “My name is David. What can I call you, sweetie?”

  “Nadine.” She glanced down at his hand touching hers, only to slip it free and tuck it in her lap.

  “I don’t bite,” he said with a little chuckle.

  Just then, the band began to play an Irish tune. David broke out in song. He went on happily, like it really meant something to him. The music was quick and lively, and he kept up with every word in his baritone voice. She watched, delighted at his enthusiastic performance. He even threw in a bit of Irish brogue to capture the mood.

  He took her arm and pulled at her gently. “Come on. Let’s dance, have some fun.”

  She pulled back. “No, I don’t want to dance, thank you.”

  He persevered, tugging a little more. “Come on. Please?” Finally, she slid off the stool and let him lead her to the small dance floor in front of the band. He towered over her with a strong, muscular six-foot tall physique. She marveled at how well built the man was.

  He wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up, and twirled her around, his feet moving through the steps of what she thought was an Irish jig. She was lightweight, slim with shapely lines. Nadine held on with her arms around his neck until he set her back on her feet, but he kept right on moving them around the floor. She had a hard time keeping up with his lively pace. He laughed, and had her laughing while he sang and held her close. His lips grazed her cheek. She could smell his spicy cologne. Her pulse raced faster. Surely it’s the drink, she thought, but how refreshing! He made her feel as though they were old friends.

  They went back to the bar. He sat next to her. “I’m a fireman, you know. Third district downtown. Rough neighborhood, lots of fires and…well, bad stuff. I sometimes need to get away from it and set my head back on straight.” She wondered at his sudden, sober expression, but was too polite to question him.

  “I’ve always admired you guys. Along with the police, you sure do offer a welcomed contribution to our city.” She turned to him and smiled, lifting her drink to salute him.

  The music slowed to a mild melody. He gazed into her eyes as he took her hand. “I’d like very much to see you again some time, sweetie.”

  “I’m afraid not, and I’m not sweetie. I really have to go. But thanks for the drink.” She hoped he hadn’t expected more than a dance in exchange for the drink. She grabbed her purse and slid off the stool, then made her way to the door. She could feel his eyes on her but didn’t turn around. She hurried out to her car, which had been covered with a fresh blanket of snow.

  ****

  David rushed out the door, waving a pink wallet. He saw Nadine’s blue four-door convertible turning left out to the road and heading south. He blinked away the snowflakes that hit him in the face, and went back inside.

  He stood at the door for a moment, reflecting on her beauty and how much he’d like to see her again. Not many women had held his interest like she did. He put the wallet to his nose and sniffed. Her fragrance lingered.

  Joe, the bartender, came over with a bottle in hand as David walked to his stool. He picked up his jacket from the back of it and slipped it on. “Have another drink, Dave?”

  David glanced up from his inspection of the pink wallet he held. “No, Joe. It’s getting nasty out. I don’t want to get caught driving home in a blizzard.” He put the wallet in his pocket. “Catch ya later.” He waved on his way to the door.

  ****

  The car in front of her on the drive home had a Christmas tree tied on its roof. The sight brought back the terrible memories of Christmas Eve two years before, when a policeman had stood at her door to announce her beloved husband was dead
. They’d only been married six months. Still a new bride with plans for the future, but it had all been torn away from her one snowy night like this one. He’d been in a fatal three-car accident on the highway.

  “We rushed him to General, but—I’m sorry, Mrs. Trombal, it was just too late. There was nothing we could do.” Those words echoed in her mind as though spoken in real time. Thoughts of that dreadful night haunted her, especially this time of year. Would she ever get past the death of the man she thought she’d spend her life and build a family with?

  Her hand tightened on the steering wheel and she spoke out loud. “Never mind celebrating, I just want to forget Christmas.” If only Paul had stayed home that day. He hadn’t really needed to work on Christmas Eve, but he’d been one of those guys who couldn’t turn down a plea for help. He’d gone to the office to take care of the work others hadn’t wanted to bother with. “It could have waited, Paul,” she whispered as she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex.

  She kicked off her wet shoes as she stepped inside. The warmth of her home felt good after winter’s cold chill. She hit the switch for the lamp by the sofa, took off her coat, and hung it in the closet next to the door. She headed for the bedroom, but turned around when the phone rang. She hurried back to the living room to answer it. “Hello?” She plunked down on the sofa, expecting a friend or someone from work.

  “Is this Nadine Trombal?”

  “Yes, this is she.” She raised her hand to her mouth. Who on earth would be calling at this time of night? She didn’t recognize the voice. It made her suspicious and a little nervous.

  “You may not have noticed yet, but your wallet is missing, and I have it. This is David, your dancing partner at the Northland Lounge. You ran off so fast you left it on the bar, so I grabbed it. I tried to catch you but you were already driving away by the time I ran outside after you.”

  “Oh, my! I’ve never done anything like that before. Don’t know where my head was. These long hours at the office are getting to me. Thanks for letting me know. How can I get it from you? Meet you at the lounge tomorrow?” She turned her head toward the window as she mulled over the night at the bar, and this David person who’d made her feel alive again for those few moments. How silly, the way he’d lifted her up from the floor like a rag doll and danced around as though he had not a worry in the world. Crazy guy. Crazy, but nice. She hadn’t known much cheerfulness for a long time.

  “How about dinner tomorrow night?”

  She stumbled for words. “Uh, I’m not sure.” Surprised at his offer, she sat forward, gripping the phone tightly. What to do? She weighed his proposal. It had been a long time since she’d been asked out on a date. In fact, this was the first time since her husband had asked her, and it seemed so very long ago. The memory of their first date flashed through her mind. “You don’t even know me. Why would you want to take me to dinner? I could just as well meet you at the lounge, get my wallet, and save you the expense.”

  “I don’t like eating alone. Thought it might be nice to have some company. So let me buy you dinner. We can enjoy one another’s company. I can afford it.”

  Why not? She hadn’t been out for dinner in a long time, and he seemed nice enough. She could meet him there so she wouldn’t have to worry about being dependant on him for a ride home, in case things didn’t go well. “All right, but I’d prefer meeting you. So where do you want to dine?”

  “What is your fancy when it comes to food?”

  “I like most things, but I favor a good steak or crab as long as you’re buying.”

  “Okay then, how about the Surf and Turf on 4th street? Say seven?”

  “Yes, I’d like that. I take it you will make reservations?”

  “Sure will, sweetie.”

  “I told you before, I’m not sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow night. And don’t forget to bring my wallet.” Shaking her head, she put the receiver down, then picked it back up. She punched in her friend’s number.

  “Hi, Tessa, had a minute, thought we could talk.”

  “I know that tone. What’s going on?”

  “I just made a foolish decision to meet a guy for dinner tomorrow night. A guy I just met tonight at the Northland Lounge.”

  “Wow! I’m surprised, but what’s so foolish about that? And what’s this guy like?”

  “He’s okay, I guess. Maybe a little too outgoing. Anyway, he bought me a drink, we danced, and when I left, I forgot my wallet on the bar. He called me after I got home to let me know he had it.”

  “So? Go on.”

  “He asked me to meet him so he could give me my wallet. I wasn’t thinking and said yes…mostly because I want my wallet back.” She sighed. “I’m not really ready for this.”

  “Come on, Nadine, let’s hear what he looks like. How old, married, single, what?”

  “Well.” She put her feet up on the coffee table and sat back. “He is good looking—tall, light brown hair, smiles a lot. I don’t know how old. Married? I should have asked.”

  “Great! Here you go off with a perfect stranger who could be a married man looking for a good time, and you’re only worried about your wallet.”

  “That’s why I told him I’d meet him instead of letting him come here to pick me up. I’m not completely stupid. Besides, it’s not the only thing I’m worried about. I can’t help thinking about Paul. I don’t think he’d like me going off with another man. This guy is okay, I think, but I’m not going to get involved.”

  “You really need to get over Paul, Nadine. He’s gone. As far as this new guy, don’t let him talk you into anything else until you get the lowdown on him. I’d let him buy you dinner, get your wallet, and go from there. Oh, yeah, ask questions, especially if he wants to see you again. Don’t give him—”

  “Hold it, I know what to do. You don’t have to tell me.”

  “All right then. What time are you meeting him?”

  “Seven, at the Surf and Turf. I have to admit, I love the food there.”

  “Call me when you get home.”

  “Okay, but stop worrying. I’m a big girl, or did you forget?”

  “Gotta go, there’s a call from my mom. Talk later.”

  Nadine hung up and sat with the phone in hand. Her brows drew together as she thought, Why couldn’t he just give me back my wallet? Dinner was a surprise. Umm, guess he likes me. She rose from the sofa. Well, I’ve got news for him. I don’t like him, or any guy. Now or ever. There was only one man for me, and he’s gone. Dinner will be all right, but that’s the end of it. I need my wallet back.

  She headed for the bedroom. Snowflakes fluttered gleefully past the bedroom window, drawing her attention. She wandered over to look out at the winter wonderland forming behind the apartment building. There had been a time when she’d loved to watch the snow, but now it only meant trouble for her drive to work. It no longer held the season’s delightful spell—not since she’d lost Paul. Christmas had no meaning to her now. She’d pass the time working and keeping busy, so as not to think about it.

  She didn’t have much to hold onto anymore, besides memories. Lonely nights had taken the place of happy evenings in the arms of the man who’d made her life worthwhile. Could she ever have the same happiness she’d had then? She doubted it.

  They’d never found his wedding ring. The impact had been so hard, the car exploded into flames. The ring must have been melted or lost in the wreckage. Because they’d only been married a few months, it would have been the best token of what they’d had together. Finding it would have given her a kind of closure. It was a symbol of their love. Paul would have wanted her to keep it.

  Tears burned in the back of her eyes, spilling over as she watched the snow floating past the window. The past two years had been filled with emptiness and sorrow. But a spark had ignited when she’d found herself on a dance floor in the arms of a handsome stranger. David, the man who’d…swept her off her feet. Literally.

  She stared out the window, thinking of
how rare it was to meet someone so full of energy, so completely sure of himself. Maybe the dinner date would be all right after all. Maybe it would be just what she needed. Everyone kept telling her to get out, meet people, and have fun. Easier said than done. She glanced over at the framed wedding picture on her dresser and drew in a deep breath, held it a moment, then let it out slowly.

  She thought of what could have been. All the plans they’d made, the children they’d talked about. The nice little house snuggled on a pretty lot in the suburbs, with a white fence all around it to keep in toddlers and puppies. She choked on the tears, and let out a gasp as she grasped after the calm she needed so badly. Nothing left, no body, not even his wedding ring, which would have given her something. Nothing but ashes in an urn, set into a tall wall with his name marking his spot. She covered her face with her hands and wept.

  For the first time since losing Paul, she suffered from mixed feelings of guilt, need, and hope. No one but Paul had ever had so much of an effect on her. She wasn’t sure she liked being pulled in two different directions. She had resigned herself to holding onto the memory of her loving husband, and nothing more. Now here came a person who stirred up old emotions.

  If only she knew what Paul would say. How would he feel about her seeing another man? She wished for a sign, something from him to let her know what to do.

  A chill came over her as she slipped out of the slacks and pullover she wore. Standing in her underwear, she wrapped her arms around herself, then reached for her warm nightgown on the end of the bed.

  She got under the blankets, thinking of Paul as usual—how much she missed him, his arms around her, making love in his tender way. The memory of their wedding night replayed on the stage in her mind. It had been a long day with the church ceremony, the gathering for lunch, and then the grand reception. The moment they’d arrived in their hotel room was still so vivid in every detail.